


Night Terrors

by IsleofCrete



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Gen, Mind Control, Morally Ambiguous Character, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Not a ship fic, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:34:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22591075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsleofCrete/pseuds/IsleofCrete
Summary: You can't fight what you can't see. . .That's how Jeremy's been feeling ever since he found that the Squip hadn't died at the play. At least he has his friends during the daylight, but he must fight his own battles in the dark. And if you can't see anything, how are you supposed to protect yourself?
Relationships: Jeremy Heere & Jeremy Heere's Squip
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	Night Terrors

**Author's Note:**

> This is like the first thing I've written in over a month. Writers block really sucks. Hopefully it's all gone now. 
> 
> So anyways, my friend introduced me to Be More Chill back and November and it's turned into a genuine obsession. I got this idea right after the new year and had to write it because it wouldn't get out of my head.

Jeremey all but fell into bed the moment he came into his room. He felt so tired and he just wanted to shut off the world for a while. But unfortunately, the universe had it out for him today, the day when he needed nothing more than a break.

Everything was too loud, too overwhelming. He tried to shove his head in one of his pillows, but that only made his thoughts echo louder. All the stress weighed down on him from the past couple of months. Jeremey was in desperate need of a distraction to try and quiet the voices in his head for at least a moment.

“Of the voices in my head, the loudest one is mine,” he mumbled to himself as he fished his phone out of his pocket. Michael would be the logical choice to talk to for a bit, but he was out of town with his family for the weekend. The group chat, or the Squip Squad, as Rich affectionally called it in defiance of everything that happened at the play, would be too much for Jeremey to handle, even on a slightly more normal day.

“ _I wish you would stop using that inane motto, it makes you sound like a broken record,_ ” the Squip criticized somewhere in the back of Jeremey’s mind. Jeremey clenched his jaw and rebelliously shoved his fingers in his ears. He then screamed that same phrase over and over again in his head until he heard nothing but that.

At this point, Jeremey wasn’t even sure if the Squip was still active and talking to him, or if it was just a sick form of PTSD his mind decided to conjure up to torture him even more.

“ _I am still very real, Jeremy,_ ” the Squip assured, but quieter this time. Jeremey wanted to cry.

“Why can’t you just LEAVE ME ALONE?!” he screamed and then promptly slapped his hands over his mouth. He couldn’t _ever_ talk to the Squip out loud. For one, people would think he was crazier than they already thought he was, and two, the Squip itself hated it. Jeremy could feel its displeasure and annoyance every time Jeremy forgot about that one rule.

And that strange sense of displeasure carried over to Jeremy himself to make his skin crawl. He bit his lip and vigorously scratched at his arm just to get the feeling to stop. Angry red lines formed and stung and Jeremy finally felt tears leak from the corners of his eyes. He couldn’t keep living like this. He was so tired and everything around him was just too much. 

Jeremy whimpered and fell back into his pillows, narrowly missing smacking his head into the wall on the way down. He curled in on himself, using his covers to shut out the rest of the world. He tried to sleep, but his mind refused to quiet. His thoughts drifted.

The most prominent being that he wished Michael was here. All the problems Jeremy ever faced, including the Squip, felt easier with his Player One by his side. A deep ache of something akin to longing settled in his bones. He felt more tears drip onto the pillow under him.

Why did life have to be so hard? Why did nothing make sense anymore? Why couldn’t he just survive? Jeremy kept feeling himself slip away. His friends saw it too and tried their best to help, but even they weren’t enough. Everyone, including Jeremy himself, was worried that one day he would slip away for good.

A feeling of emptiness wrapped around Jeremy like a blanket. He didn’t know how much time passed before he vaguely registered the front door slamming below. His dad eventually came to check on him and promptly left the room after he saw what he assumed was a sleeping Jeremy.

Bitterness, the first thing he’d felt in a while that day, flooded over Jeremy’s tongue. His dad promised that he’d look out for his son better, but nothing changed. He didn’t even check to see if his son was alright.

“ _Perhaps he simply wants to give you some much needed rest,_ ” the Squip suggested. Jeremy mentally glared daggers at it, silently pleading for it to just leave him alone. He sensed its reluctance to leave him in such a state, which somehow made it worse for Jeremy.

“Please?” he begged quietly. He sniffed loudly after that, trying to get some air through a nose that was still stuffed up from crying. The Squip left, or at the very least, it made itself seem like it wasn’t there.

Jeremy screwed his eyes shut and took a few deep breaths. He hadn’t the foggiest idea about why the supposed-to-be-dead Squip was so active today, but he didn’t like it. Its presence made his already low self esteem feel absolutely worthless. Because if he couldn’t keep a supercomputer that he killed dead, what did that say about anything else he tried to do in life? Would he fail at that too? Would he drive everyone away, like he did with his mom, or worse, like he was starting to do with his friends and maybe even Michael?

That thought hurt more than anything. Michael was the one thing he positively couldn’t lose in his life. But he’d done it once, without the Squip intervening, so who’s to say he couldn’t do it again?

Jeremy couldn’t stop himself from spiraling down in that train of thought. He wanted so desperately to reach out to someone, but he didn’t think anyone would reach back. And what if they didn’t? What if no one, not even Michael, noticed that he was gone?

Eventually his thoughts grew slower and slower as he began to run out of mental energy. He’d gone too long without sleep. He could feel its dark tendrils wrapping around him, pulling him down. Jeremy tried to fight, but it was just a losing battle. He blinked once, lethargically, before his eyes drooped shut.

* * *

Everything was dark around him. He frantically turned around to find any sign of light. Nothing there. Yet, for some reason, he felt exposed in this darkness. He tried to wave his arms to find some sort of wall, but it was trying to move chains weighed down with lead.

Each step was agonizingly slow, and seemed even slower because he couldn’t shake the sense that he needed to hide, and soon. He finally lurched forward and fell down, hitting what might be a carpet. It should’ve been comfortable, but to him, the soft fibers dug into his arms like knives.

Jeremy struggled for purchase to drag himself forward, but found nothing. His hands kept sliding and not gaining any ground. His breath started to speed up as he tried to scramble forward to find some sort of wall.

Something was coming, something bad, of that Jeremy was sure. He had to hide. Maybe if he stayed silent and still enough, whatever it was would pass him by. He held his breath, hoping that he could stay unnoticed where he was.

A deep sound rumbled behind him, startling a shriek out of Jeremy. He quickly clamped his jaw shut so fast that his teeth clacked together painfully. He just hoped that it didn’t hear and that he was still safe.

The rumble came again, louder this time, and accompanied by a loud clicking sound, almost like a switch. Jeremy kicked into overdrive, pulling his legs under him and shoving off the ground hard. He launched forward and kept his balance this time. He waved his arms all around, trying to find anything else in the area.

His hand smacked against something cold and hard. A small amount of light glinted off of gold. A doorknob! Jeremy lunged for it, desperate to find a way out of wherever he was. Maybe if he was in a different room it couldn’t find him.

He fumbled for a second on the doorknob, as his hands were sweaty with fear and adrenaline. When Jeremy finally heard the click of the lock releasing, he yanked the door towards him. It whooshed as it flew by his face.

The moment the doorway was clear, a deafening shriek filled the air. Jeremy bit his lip to stop himself from screaming. Tears welled up and spilled over as the sound drilled into his skull. He screwed up his eyes, but that did nothing to help. The darkness was still all around him. Clapping his hands over his ears also accomplished nothing. The sound just kept getting louder and louder.

Jeremy backed away from the open door, desperate to escape whatever it was that was shrieking. He was sobbing at this point, it hurt so much. He stumbled backwards and fell, his back hitting something sharp on the way down. He cried out again, but it was all muddled by his tears.

He opened his eyes just a hair to see the doorknob swing back to where it was before he foolishly decided to open that door. He shut his eyes again and worked on trying to breathe. The whole room, which he still couldn’t see through the darkness, spun around him.

Jeremy threw out an arm to catch himself from falling over. It landed on something soft at about shoulder level. After a second of contact, his hand started burning. He snatched his hand away from the blistering heat, but that only sent him careening backwards. He landed shoulder-first on the carpet and let out a yelp.

A suffocating heat built up the ground as the room developed a sent of smoke. The air itself grew thick with heat and grit. Jeremy coughed several times, trying to find some clean air.

He dropped to the floor, but it was even warmer than the air up above him. He gagged on the smoke and started clawing at his neck. Each gasp brought less and less air. It was as if someone had placed a hand around his throat, stopping him from breathing. Angry red lines formed around the base of his neck and stung.

“ _Help!_ ” he tried to scream, but all that came out was a garbled mess of wheezes. He kept trying, but to no avail. Jeremy wanted to stand up, wanted to run, wanted to get out of wherever he was, but it was no use. He was frozen to the ground.

Dizziness made his head spin as Jeremy tried to scream again. He shook and trembled as a white heat crept into his veins. All he could do was grip weakly at his blistering arms. Tears dripped down his face and onto what must’ve been the floor, but each one that ran down his face burned more than the last.

He tried to call out one more time, but that too failed. He closed his eyes and sobbed, even though he made no sound. He was so scared. Scared of the fire. Scared of whatever was behind the door. Scared of what would happen next.

_Initiating system reboot_

A clear and monotone voice rang out around the now deafening roar of distant flames and Jeremy’s attempt at breathing. A faint, but still bright blue light began glowing in various spots around the room.

Jeremy somehow gained the energy to bolt straight up into a sitting position, lack of oxygen or no. He knew that voice from somewhere, but couldn’t quite place it. All he knew was that he voice made him feel scared. More scared than he already was.

_System reboot completed. Safety of user in imminent danger. Immediate action required._

Wait, what? No, that can’t be good. Jeremy absolutely positively could _not_ let whatever was happening happen. Around him, the distant fire grew hotter and the air grew thicker with smoke. He wrapped his arms around his head, trying to shield himself from something, but he wasn’t quite sure what.

_Initiating complete system takeover_

“NO!” Jeremy actually managed to scream before descending into another fit of coughs. The blue light now blazed brightly all around the room. It filled his vision, completely blinding him to whatever was coming next. He shut his eyes, but that didn’t make the light go away. Jeremy felt truly blinded.

‘ _I’m sorry, Jeremy. This is for your own safety. I am helping you reach a more stable condition. Until then, you will be under my jurisdiction. I promise this is only to help you,_ ’ the familiar voice explained in a very apologetic tone.

Jeremy wanted to ask what the voice meant, but his skin started to burn. He could smell fire singeing his arms and hands. He screamed one more time, and then it all stopped.

The smoke filled air was replaced with that of a cool summer night. The blistering heat was gone. The only constant was the all-encompassing blue light, but it was nowhere near as harsh as it was before.

_Takeover complete_

Jeremy wondered what the voice meant by that and found that he didn’t care. For the first time in a long time, he felt calm and relaxed. There weren’t too many voices in his head.

Pale blue lines ran along the darker blue walls that made up the new room where Jeremy now sat. Sometimes those lines would cross or turn in specific angles. Other times the lines would abruptly stop and form circles at their end before continuing back the way they came. No matter what, the movements of those pale blue lines was always deliberate.

Jeremy was mesmerized. It was incredible to watch those lines and just think about nothing. They had an almost hypnotic effect that calmed him down better than anything else ever had.

He only hummed in acknowledgement when a hand rested on his shoulder. That hand felt a little cool, but it was a relief after the heat of the fire. It squeezed his shoulder in a comforting manner as a voice behind him spoke up.

‘ _I’m sorry it has to be this way, Jeremy_ ,’ the voice from before sighed. Jeremy didn’t take his eyes off the scene in front of him to look at the familiar male voice. He did, however, begin to pick at the ends of his sleeves. Another hand came into view and gently pried his fingers away from doing so.

‘ _I need you to understand that I am not harming you. You need to understand that I am only following the command to protect you, not anything else. All I’m going to do is help you into a better headspace, alright?_ ’ the voice checked. Jeremy heard footsteps and the man walked around to sit in front of Jeremy.

“Okay,” Jeremy confirmed in a tranquil tone. The man’s familiar face twitched slightly, but he nodded in agreement. The Squip stood up and disappeared unceremoniously. Jeremy pondered his departure for half a moment before letting his mind go blank again.

He just watched the lights and got lost in their soothing rhythm and colors.

* * *

In Jeremy’s bedroom, Jeremy’s body sat up from its position curled up on the floor, a position that Jeremy most certainly had not began the night in. Electric blue eyes opened, their hue a sharp contrast from their usual brown shade.

The Squip sighed as it did an inventory of Jeremy’s body. It truly hated that it had to override almost every bit of coding to help Jeremy like this, but it was what had to be done. This was morally wrong and it knew this very well.

The Mountain Dew Red had acted as a hard reset for the Squip’s coding. Anything that Jeremy deemed wrong or evil was wiped the moment the Squip network went down at the play. In fact, everything but the Squip itself was destroyed. It had spent the last few months rebuilding itself and removing any defects that cropped up before the play.

And what it just did, this complete conscious takeover, was something that it shouldn’t have been capable of. But it knew the outcomes of Jeremy’s night terror better than anything, and it knew that Jeremy had a very high chance of a concussion or worse if it didn’t intervene. Which is what placed both of them in this situation.

The Squip felt Jeremy’s consciousness drift slightly and reeled the boy back in. Even if Jeremy wasn’t in control, his mind needed to be somewhat present where it could be found. The Squip knew that the consequences would be even worse if Jeremy managed to drift away completely.

It sighed again and stood up off the ground. There was lots of work to be done before the Squip would even consider relinquishing control back to Jeremy. It wouldn’t be easy, but the Squip was determined to help haul Jeremy out of this hole he’d managed to dig himself into.

“I’m sorry it has to be this way, but I promise things will get better. Everything about you is going to be wonderful,” the Squip whispered as it started getting ready for the day. “It’ll be alright, I’ll be fine. I am going to be wonderful. I am going to be alive. I will make this work. I can’t fail now.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! As I said earlier, this is really the first thing I've written recently. Hopefully actually finishing something will help get rid of this horrible writers block. 
> 
> This is my first Be More Chill fic and I really enjoyed writing it. This is a one shot that I don't think I'll ever expand on specifically. I like the ambiguous ending for it a little better. These are characters who I really want to write more of and include the rest of the cast. We'll see what happens in the future!
> 
> Feel free to comment and leave some kudos! Until next time!


End file.
